Poems for People Who Care: Best Friend Job Spec’

 In Poetry

– if you read this poem, please donate to NHS Charities Together on my Just Giving page: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tamsin-flower

 

Best Friend

Higher Executive Officer, Grade A

Deadline: now

 

Specification

 

Please take care to make a fresh pot of tea and assorted snacks in support of your application. We recommend that you cross-reference your horoscope, inner-landscape, self-esteem and testosterone/oestrogen levels when completing your statement.

 

Essential criteria

  • Practitioner level experience in unconditional positive regard for the company’s aims, aspirations and dreams.
  • Expert level extra-sensory perception of low mood.
  • Practitioner level listening skills ie. profound quietness, attentive body-language, natural mirroring, lively eyes.
  • Expert level dissemination of gossip with perspective, tact and independent reasoning skills.
  • Practitioner level hard-wired integrity when offered information in confidence.

 

Desirable attributes

  • The word in a message that rings true, gently.
  • Facilitating birthday celebrations as if they were the first and last.
  • Demonstrating genuine happiness in the company’s wins, as if they were almost your own.
  • Baking.

 

Seeing the Big Picture

We want to know that you can make connections between the expansive trajectory of the company and your own, with an eye for sharing learnings positively for future projects, trips and problem-solving. We seek candidates who can identify parallels between their own rich and illuminating experience and the company’s while maintaining an appreciation of separateness and contrasting points of view.

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